Written by Lacey Roy

Belonging, self-worth, confidence…  OR

        Transformation, happiness, new…

Through many years and decades, I have fallen prey to both groups. The first set of adjectives in relation to loving myself “as is.” My confidence expanding and constricting in relation to the numbers on the scale as I tried to convince myself that I was enough, but I’ll admit…it was convincing not believing. I praised myself when I “achieved” the second group. When I threw myself into new workouts, denied myself second helpings and hit body goals that transformed me physically. All of a sudden feeling more, albeit fragile, confidence and happiness as a “new” person. I completely disregarded my true person and the growth that transformed my world exclusive of just my body size.

Every Tuesday my Facebook newsfeed is flooded with “Transformation Tuesday” and the before/after pictures come pouring in like tidal waves with stories as tag lines. I’m empathetically warmed by every picture I see with the challenges faced to achieve these accomplishments. I’ve wrung the sweat from my own gym clothes, cried when I could barely finish a boxing round and nursed the bruises on my shins to literally hit my own goals. What about the career goals we dream about and pursue with every ounce of energy we have? What happened to celebrating our kids’ milestones that wouldn’t have been hit without our endless guiding and loving?

I’m craving a before/after picture of a woman, genuine in her tiredness, pushing her boundaries of chasing her career and flying  against glass ceilings. Her eyebrows slanted upward, appreciation of twenty quiet minutes during nap time with a cheerio stuck to her cheek from a rambunctious 1 year old. Hair in a messy bun and her chin raised, a middle finger to life that can beat us down. I’m part of a standing ovation to her “after” picture, middle finger still there with a t shirt on and her laptop behind her with glass raining down from another glass ceiling shattering. Or syrup on her forehead when she had wiped the sweat that can only come from chasing a toddler’s mouth with french toast, nurturing her child into the next generation.

My heart races and I’m searching for a word stronger than “transformation”. Let’s see the transformation beyond inches and numbers; let’s breathe in self-love through necessary growth. The two seemingly disconnected adjective groups blending together as our confidence grows through who we genuinely are, transforming not ourselves but our expectations.  Newness as we transform so much more than initially believed, and lasting so much longer than our lifetimes. Our achievements and accomplishments are far beyond numbers and inches, we’re true Transformers.